Shame is a word I have been wrestling with lately. It’s something that I had not thought about until I watched an inspiring documentary on Tony Robbins. What a funny idea to pop into my mind that I now can’t seem to let go.
What is Shame?
As I’ve wrestled with this very powerful, demeaning word, I’ve come to realize that I’m not even sure what it means. It just seems to sit here with me. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, shame is a noun, which means it is a thing or an idea. By definition it means, “a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.” The word has such a negative connotation. It is most certainly something that we humans can feel. But why? What is behind taking on something so powerful and so negative?
Exploring the Concept
As many of you may know, I recently found and connected with my biological roots on both my paternal and maternal sides. As an adoptee, the emotions I’ve experienced throughout my life because I was adopted have been far-reaching and complicated. All too often, I have been unable to pinpoint the range of emotions that have gripped me over the years. While learning more about my maternal side, I’ve come to know and understand that my biological mother, whom I will never have the blessing to meet since she is deceased, was treated as if she brought shame on the family, as was typical of unwed teenage pregnant girls at that time.
Shame is so powerful that I can’t even imagine how it must have made her feel. It truly breaks my heart. As a mother to three boys, I can’t even imagine being forced to give up my child, much less be made to feel shame for bringing a child into the world. Yes, I know times were different then. I get that. Thank goodness some of that has changed today. But I digress.
The Big Question About Shame
What I grapple with is this question: Can shame cross the placenta? In other words, I feel like this is the word that has impacted my life, always. I’ve always felt it. It’s shaped so of much me in terms of behaviors and choices. I keep studying the word, feeling the word, and internalizing the word. Shame. It’s on my mind. Deeply in my thoughts. There are no answers… yet. I’m mulling it over. Just letting the feels of it go where it needs to.
I found this quote about shame. It speaks to me on such a different level. “Shame should be reserved for the things we choose to do, not the circumstances that life puts on us.” ~ Ann Patchett. Can I be feeling my mother’s shame?
Changing the Subject
On another note, we stopped at the Jupiter Inlet Dubois Park a few weeks ago. It’s such a beautiful place. The beautiful and famous Jupiter Lighthouse is in the distance. This is a soul-soothing place. Love it!
 Thanks for visiting the blog. Let me know what you think of shame. I’d love to hear from you so please leave me a comment below.
Namaste ~ Amy
Photographs of Kirby are a rarity in our family. He’s constantly on the move. Difficult doesn’t even begin to describe how challenging it is to capture an image of him.
The Dog Park Capers
We’re lucky to have a dog park here in our community. Kirby loves all of his little furry friends. Running around without a leash must feel really good to dogs. A taste of freedom while still confined in safety. It’s a win-win if you ask me.
Kirby has been known to escape now and then. He once ran away and was located almost 10 miles from our house. It was crazy. We searched for hours. Luckily, a dog-friendly person picked up Kirby by the side of the road, took him home, and called us. A doggy angel.
Even in our community, where we have the dog park, Kirby managed to scale the wall and escape. Fortunately, he didn’t go far because his furry friends were still inside the park.
Maintaining Sanity
Yes, this dog drives me nuts. Seriously! He makes me so crazy some times. And the amount of shedding – UGH! But how can you not love that face?!
Flat-Coated Retriever
He’s a flat-coated retriever. Yeah, I never heard of them before we stumbled across our first flattie rescue – Maya. They are the most charming and loving dogs. But, gosh, do they shed! Vacuuming a few times a day barely makes an impact.
Photographs
Here are a few photographs of Kirby – aka Kirbalicious – taken at the dog park a few weeks ago. He really is such a beautiful boy, if I may say so myself.
Candid photographs of this total goofball! That tongue swishing and flapping around just cracks me up. Look at his paws; I don’t think he’ll ever grow into them.
If you want more information about flat-coated retrievers, check out the AKC page HERE.
Thanks for taking a peek at my sweet fur baby.
Namaste ~
Photos, or photography, is one passion that I have. I’ve been photographing people and places since I got my first Brownie camera when I was a child. It’s the one “thing” that has stuck with me through the years. However, just because I love photography doesn’t mean that everyone shares the passion of photos with me.
Are Photos Important?
So, how important are photos? For posterity? For a blog post? For sharing your passion? What do you think?
Goals and Dreams
As the year began, I realized how much I’ve missed photographing… well, just about everything! So, in an effort to be more authentic and real, my goal is to photograph something (preferably people) every day. Oh no, don’t be silly… I mean with my “big girl” camera, as my friends call it. Ha!
How am I doing so far? It seems to come in spurts. Working full-time, not in a photography related career, does not always lend itself to fulfilling this goal. Is it motivation or lack thereof? Nope. It is simply a matter of time. After all, I am human. Shocker, I know. Good intentions and passion can’t always overcome the simple fact that time slips by during the work week. Work commitments take priority.
Where’s it all going?
In any event, I am truly on a mission. I turned 57 this month. Health and finances are at the forefront of goals that I have for this year. But photography, taking photos of things, people, and places I love, that will always be my passion in addition to being my main goal for this year.
Where is this all leading? Who knows. One of the aspects of January that I love most, besides being my birthday month, is that we get a fresh start, a new lease on life, an uplifting feeling of newness during this first month of the year. Ideas for the future float around in my head. Some of the ideas are starting to gel. Stay tuned as I look into developing them further.
And in case you are wondering, there are no photos in this post. Truly, I just can’t figure out how to size them so they don’t look pixelated and #@$%y. So there you have it.
Mount Dora
One final note, I went antiquing in Mount Dora last weekend. Well, actually it was held at Renninger’s Antique Center. The immense antique festival that they have a few times a year is something I always look forward to attending. On Sunday the weather was crazy bitter cold (for us Floridians). Despite the weather, I managed to score some pretty glass plates with butterflies etched in them. Love! Yes, I am a butterfly fanatic. More on that another time. If you get a chance to go to Mount Dora, the antique festival is awesome and the downtown is seriously charming. If there was an ocean there, I’d move there in a heartbeat. Best restaurant, hands down, is the Goblin Market. A must if you visit the area!
Here’s to an awesome (almost) weekend. Make it a great one! ~ Namaste
It’s 2019. The start of something new always generates excitement. Whether it’s a new year, a new car, a new job, new photography assignment… well, you get the point. Personally, I am delighted to start the new year, to start 2019, because I feel like it’s a good time for a new start. Some fresh ideas and exploration into where those new ideas will take me is what speaks to my soul right now. January is always the month I look forward to the most. Not only is it my birthday (yay me! can you say party!), but it is the overwhelming sense derived from reflection of the past year that makes me feel centered and ready for the new, dare I say, goals. Yes, my 2019 includes goals and pretty lofty ones at that.
A look back to 2018
2018 was such an extraordinary year in my life. Seriously. Questions long burning in my soul were answered. In case you didn’t know, I was adopted at birth by two amazingly loving people. My adoption was never hidden from me. As far as life goes, my upbringing was lovely. Donald and Phyllis were loving parents. But as an adoptee, the question is always tucked neatly in the back of your mind… who am I? Where did I come from? Who do I look like? Where did that characteristic, idiosyncrasy, physical attribute, etc. come from?
Well, the mystery was solved in 2018. Through the use of Ancestry DNA and A LOT of intensive research, I found my biological family. Both sides. My mother passed away before I could meet her. However, I found four half siblings on that side of my roots. Two sisters and two brothers. Pretty phenomenal, huh?! And on the other side, my father is still alive! Not only that, but I have three half sisters on that side of the family! Wow, wow, wow, is all I have to say. Amazing! Truly.
Meeting all of these new family members has been something of a whirlwind. I cannot tell you how blessed and humbled I feel getting to know all of them. Some day I’ll tell you more about them. Just know that each and every one of them has been so gracious and loving. I pinch myself when I think about it.
A look ahead to 2019
Perhaps now you have an inkling as to why I am so excited about this year. So what is the big deal? First of all, I am feeling refreshed and renewed. Nourishing my mind, body, and soul with positivity and gentleness has triggered an undeniable fervor to create, not only in a physical sense of the word, but in the metaphorical sense as well. All of the emotion packed into 2018 has catapulted me into renewed vim and vigor to take on many of the ideas I’ve been tossing around in my mind for the past couple of years.
Also, I’ve really got to take better care of myself from a health perspective. Diabetes sucks. I guess I’m a cliche – new year, new resolutions. Yeah, I’m one of those. More on that another time, too.
All in all, I’m so inspired for the new year. It’s going to be a great one! Let me know what you are excited about for 2019. I’d love to hear from you. Until next time… Namaste ~ Amy
Amy Tara Photography is seeking Team ’17! We’re looking for Class of 2017 students to be our photography model representatives at local high schools. If you are a student at Martin County High School, South Fork High School, Jensen Beach High School, or Jupiter High School, please apply for this exciting opportunity.
 Amy Tara Photography Team ’17 About Our Photography Experience
We offer a senior portrait experience that is beyond the typical box store variety. Our photography is an experience, one that will last a lifetime! It begins with a pre-consultation and visit to the style closet. You will have an extraordinary day of pampering with professional hair and makeup application that is especially designed just for you. It’s about you and all that you are and love at this time in your life.
Once your images are ready for viewing, your experience includes a special image premiere where you will be guided through the products and options for your compete photography package. It’s unlike anything else offered in South Florida. We strive to make this a once in a lifetime experience. One you will remember fondly for the rest of your life.
Amy Tara Photography Team ’17 Details
Team ’17 will not only participate in unique and fun modeling opportunities, but will also get to have the best senior portrait experience to brag about to their friends. That’s really all there is to it – brag about us to your friends.
We’ve been blessed to have many senior portrait clients over the years who have referred many clients to us. We are forever grateful for all of you.
Are you ready to become a part of something really special? Great! Apply for Amy Tara Photography Team ’17 today!
Please email us for an application at amytarakoeppel@gmail.com
We can’t wait to meet you and create an outstanding senior photography experience with you and for you!
Namaste, Amy
« Older posts
|
